A Darkness and Silence Full of Hope and Promises
by br1ttanaa
Summary: Is someone ever really JUST part of your past? Originally a HeYa one-shot about the night of the SAG awards but had enough requests to add another chapter. May make it into a multi-chap depending on what people think. Implied Flopvera but definitely HeYa. Rated M for the obvious HeYa reason... Hope you like it (:
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Nor do I own Heather and Naya but I do own my own Sim versions of them lol. **

**A/N: I, like everyone else, had a day full of creys today when I saw the pictures of Naya and HeMo at the SAG awards. I wanted to write something about it and got a little carried away. It is the first fic (or any other piece of writing) I have ever had the guts to publish but it's late and I am obviously not thinking straight so I'm gonna post it. PLEASE let me know what you think. Much love xoxox**

* * *

I could feel the effects of the alcohol begin to take a hold over my body and was comfortable with the fuzzy sensation spreading through my limbs. Shutting my eyes for a moment I let myself listen to the chaos around me. I was sure that we were the rowdiest bunch in here and it just made me smile as I thought about how I was out with all my nearest and dearest. Opening my eyes to the sound of applause I watched as Juliana Margulies and Noah Wyle step out on to the stage up front, this was our category… best ensemble in a comedy series. Although I don't know who they think their kidding by even nominating us in the comedy category, it's not like we're even a comedy anymore. To be honest I don't think there is even a category for us. At least this was turning out to be a great night and there was no shortage of booze which, I know, meant the rest of the cast was getting good and tipsy. As soon as Modern Family reached the stage I felt my phone buzz in my clutch, pulling it out inconspicuously in case the cameras panned to our table to show our "disappointment", I unlocked the phone to see a text that made me chuckle slightly under my breath earning me a quizzical look from Matt sitting next to me.

_From Heather: Shock, horror we lost! We are, by far, the best 'comedy' out there. P.S. you're losing the drinking game… drink up, Nay._

_To Heather: I know… such a shame cos we really deserved it lol. I wasn't aware we were playing a drinking game…?_

_From Heather: I've been playing since they put the food down… and you call yourself the Veiled Fairy, psshhh superhero my ass! I said DRINK UP LOSER!_

_To Heather: FINE!_

I made it a point to turn my head and gulp down my drink before banging the glass down on the table a little louder than I had hoped earning me a few pointed stares from those seated around me. Swiveling ever so slightly in my chair I caught Heather's eye and gave her a sly wink before mouthing the words "It's on!" and filling my glass up again. I watched as Heather gave a soft chuckle and dip her head in a bow that just made her look even more adorkable if that's possible.

Halfway through the Modern Family speech I felt Matt press into my side and whisper that he was headed to the bathroom. Just as soon as the seat next to me was vacated, I felt another warm body slide into it. There was no question in my mind who it was and felt myself turn towards her. I don't think anyone in the world would be able to look into Heather Morris' face and deny that she was absolutely breathtaking.

"Hey you…" I could smell the sweetness of the alcohol on her breath wash over my face and I fought not to close my eyes at the sound of her soft voice. There was a time we used to be closer than ever and I miss it… she misses it too because we have had several drunken conversations about this but time and prior commitments have seemed to get in the way of our friendship nowadays and for that I feel myself give over to my regret.

"Hey Heath… How's the rowdy table?"

"So good! I'm so bummed that you didn't get seated with us, we're having so much fun. The only thing missing now is drunky Rivera. But I know you had to sit over here with Floppy."

"Hey now, come on… don't call him that. You know how much shit he gets for it already. But yeah you're right; I wish I was sitting with you guys too." I watched as her eyes crinkle up in the corners as she smiled at me but somehow the light in her face didn't quite reach the depth of those wonderful eyes and I know she was thinking about all the things I think when I see her. She moved forward slightly and I couldn't bring myself to move away.

"Hey…" her voice rushed passed my face again and I gazed into the most soulful eyes on the planet.

"Hey, yourself…" Silence.

Thankfully Amber's voice cut into our little awkward moment.

"HeMo, have you decided to hijack our table?"

"Yeah, seems that way. I just needed a quick break from the crazy…" I felt Heather's shoulder bump into mine in jest and couldn't help but smile at the quick turn back into a light and breezy atmosphere.

"Ha, yeah right HeMo… you're as crazy as the rest of them if not more so. Hey, can I be the official starter of tonight's HeYa riot? You know the fans would probably murder someone if they didn't get at least one shot of you guys from tonight!" I giggled at that and felt Heather press further into my side.

"Yeah, go ahead. Let's watch them go crazy." With her proximity I felt her words rush past my ear and could have sworn I could literally see the goose bumps rising on my skin. With a quick flash the photo was over and Heather stood up to go back to her table. Before she could get very far I heard Vanessa yell from the other table.

"Wait! I want to take a 'Moms' picture! After all I'm pretty sure I'm the official sponsor of that fandom." Another few photos, I chose the one I liked the best, mostly because Little Bee had managed to photo bomb in the background. That kid was such an instigator I swear… always the little jokester but I really do love him for it. Seeing Matt approach the table I looked around to say a quick bye to Heather only to find her already back in her chair laughing over the photos they had just taken. It was strange but I felt so left out of that part of the evening, almost like that part of my life had come and gone in the blink of an eye and that Heather and I were not what we used to be. Shaking my head from the thoughts I turned to face the rest of the table ignoring the ruckus behind me and looked around at my table-mates… one word: BORING!

The awards ceremony finally drew to a close and I took a steadying breath as I felt the steady flow of alcohol pump through my veins causing my head to turn a little. Boy these award shows were boring if you didn't win anything. I have to admit though; the alcohol did play a good part in making the evening a little more bearable. It also aided in stopping my skin from crawling when Matt placed his hand on my knee halfway through the evening. It wasn't so much that he grossed me out… it was just that after having shared that little moment with Heather I found it harder not to let my mind wander back to all the times we shared before and it felt weird having his hands on me when I was thinking about her. Alcohol was also good at dredging up those old memories I hold so near and dear to my heart but also leave me with a tiny bit of heart-ache as I realize I don't have any recent ones to compare them to.

* * *

Stepping out in to the cool night air I took a deep breath and headed over to the fan lines, they always managed to make me feel better and just seeing the smiles on their faces lets me know that I have made their day just as much as they make mine every time I come to one of these events. Moving slowly through the line it is always fun to take the time and greet the fans properly because, let's face it, I wouldn't be here without them today. It was clear that there was some sort of twitter frenzy happening and I almost couldn't help the small smile form on my lips each time I heard Heather's name mentioned in hushed tones as if the sound of her name out loud would spook me like a scared deer. The fan greet came to an end I felt the same pang of guilt that I couldn't spend longer with them and answer their questions and qualms their fears because I would love nothing more than to say to them 'hang in there… I've heard you, I see every single TT and it will get better, I promise'… but strict Fox PR dictates I can't and it crushes me a little more each time I leave one of their questions unanswered and see the hope fade just a little more.

Being bundled into a car is never fun especially when I have to maneuver myself in a strapless dress without flashing the whole world and his uncle but the promise of more booze and good times with friends at the after party meant my exit from the venue was smooth and unhindered. Reaching the destination I did my usual pose for some of the photogs poised at the entrance and felt the beat enter my body as soon as I stepped into the club. Glancing around the room it was no surprise that Heather and Little Lengies had, by now, commandeered the dance floor and were already making complete asses of themselves and I couldn't help the beaming smile spring to my face as I saw Heather wave me over. I gave her a quick hand gesture to let her know I was zoning in on the bar first and I watched as she gave an enthusiastic nod before turning back and pseudo Jersey turn piking Vanessa. Damn, she's such a good dancer… I'm gonna need more than a couple more drinks in my system before I try to keep up with that for the rest of the night.

Three shots and a hefty double later I have kicked off my shoes and am shaking what god gave me on the dance floor. As one of our collective favorite songs comes on I can see the entire cast spill onto the dance floor and before I know what's happening I am sandwiched between Heather and Kevin swaying to the thumping beat. Heather flicks her head around and I am suddenly surrounded by her scent… I begin to feel my heartbeat speed up and all of a sudden I am feeling trapped and stifled. Pushing my way through the moving bodies I come out just in front of the bathroom. Without a second look back I push the door forward and immediately rush to the sink to run my wrists under the cold water. As I feel my heart beat return to its normal pace I become very aware of just how cloudy my head feels right now and I know that is time for me to go home.

Pushing my way back through the crowd I reach Matt who is at the bar with some of the other writers and I pull him quietly to the side whilst flashing my best smile at the others.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, everything is fine Matt. I just think it's time for me to go home."

"But it's still really early! Can we just stay a little longer?"

"I really have to go home, Matt. But you can stay if you want to… I don't want you to have to cut your night short because of me."

"You sure?"

"Yeah… it's fine."

"Great, thanks babe." I felt the quick peck on my cheek before he has turned back around to take another shot. Sighing to myself I turn to quickly sweep the room in search of the only other person I wanted to say goodbye to and found Heather standing next to the DJ booth with Jenna and Vanessa seemingly taking a breather from the crazy dancing. Deciding to take the long way around to avoid the packed dance floor I reach them and pull Heather quickly to the side shouting my goodbyes at the other two who didn't seem to hear me.

"What's up, Nay?"

"I'm gonna go home so I just came over to say goodbye." I caught her eyes and thought I saw a slight look of disappointment flash over her face before regaining its composure.

"Oh… okay. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, no it's fine. I've just had two huge nights out and I think it is starting to catch up to me."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Yes, yes I do want you to come with me.

"No, it's fine Heath. You stay and have fun and I'll see you tomorrow at the set, 'kay?" I couldn't miss the questioning look in her eyes but I think she knew better than to push any further.

"Okay, Nay… Be careful getting back and text me when you're home."

"I will. The car's just outside so it shouldn't take me long." Walking away from Heather was a lot harder than it had been walking away from Matt and I couldn't help the confusion that washed through my alcohol riddled brain.

The drive back was quiet and I rolled the window down to take in the fresh air as I felt my eyes close. I was jolted awake when the driver partition buzzed down and I was told that I was home. Climbing the stairs to the house I pulled the keys from my clutch and simultaneously shot off a text to Heather telling her I was home safe. Why was it so much easier to multi-task drunk?

_To Heather: Hmoe safe. Have a godo time tnight. Love you xoxo_

_From Heather: Lol ok drunky. Sleep well. Love you too xoxo_

Ok maybe the multi-tasking thing was the same drunk. Where was autocorrect when I needed it? Now I just look wasted.

Acting on routine I undressed and crawled into bed just as my exhaustion set in completely. Laying my spinning head down the last thing I remember thinking about was Heather's face.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of my front door slamming and I instinctively reached for the ALMA award that sat on my bedside table. I'm not vain or anything, it just went well there and it was a heavy object that could provide good protection should anything bad ever happen. Hearing mumbling in the hallway I brought my knees into my chest and gripped the statue tighter in my clammy hands. In stumbles Matt, obviously completely annihilated and obviously too far gone to even realize I was awake and sitting up in bed because his attempt at remaining silent was still ongoing and if I wasn't already pissed at being woken up I would have laughed at how comical he looked. Laying back down slowly I let my eyes flutter closed again knowing exactly what was coming if I knew anything about drunk Matt. Peeking through my eyelids I watched him sway unsteadily in front of me before crouching down and shout-whispering into my face. The stench of stale alcohol and cigar washed over me and made me feel sick to my stomach.

"Naya!?" Keeping my breathing steady was a challenge but I knew he wouldn't notice anyway if it picked up slightly.

"Naya? Baby I'm home." Squeezing my eyes tighter I waited until he got the message that he wasn't getting anything from me tonight. I heard him move away from me and held my breath until I felt the mattress dip beneath me as he poured himself into bed without removing any clothing or his shoes. An arm came down over my back and he scooted closer to me, I was getting more irritated by the second and had to fight myself to keep calm. 5 minutes of drunk spooning was enough for me and I made sure he was sleeping before pushing his arm off me. I knew he wasn't going to wake from his drunken stupor anytime soon. Just as I moved away from him I felt my phone buzz under my pillow and pulled it out squinting into the bright light. Reaching for my glasses on the bedside table I unlocked the phone and once I saw who it was from I had to remind myself to breathe.

_From Heather: Are you awake?_

_To Heather: Yeah… is everything ok?_

_From Heather: Come over?_

_To Heather: Matt's here… I can't. What's wrong?_

_From Heather: From the way he practically crawled out of the after-party I'm pretty sure he won't notice if you leave._

_To Heather: Yeah, maybe but I still don't understand… It's like 4am… is something wrong?_

_From Heather: No, I just want to see you._

_To Heather: Oh…_

_From Heather: So… come over?_

2 short minutes, 22 breaths and a whirlwind of emotions later I tapped out my reply.

_To Heather: Okay._

Sliding out of bed I was consciously tiptoeing around the room to find my sweats and a jacket to put on. Not sure why I was trying to be so quiet because I know that once he is knocked out it takes at least a small marching band marching right past his head to wake him up. Shutting my front door quietly I hopped into my car and took a deep breath before starting my engine and pulling carefully out of my driveway. It was almost like reflex now as I drove towards Heather's house. The tumultuous emotions continued to run through my head and I was distracted so it was a good thing I pretty much had this route down on auto-pilot mode now. Pulling into her driveway I could see the porch light was still on and almost as soon as I had shut off the engine and stepped from the driver's seat the front door swung open slowly to reveal Heather in her short dance shorts and a hoody staring at me. One thing I have always loved about this girl was that she wore her heart on her sleeve and I could tell that there was a lot to talk about… Gulping down my apprehension I swung the door shut and made my way to her front door.

Bar a soft 'Hey' when I reached the front door Heather hadn't said anything to me yet and the growing awkwardness of the situation was starting to make me nervous. As she bustled around the kitchen, opening wine and pulling out ALL the wine glasses from her cupboard before she found 2 the same size, I couldn't help but stare at her long toned legs coming out of the shortest shorts in the entire universe. As she turned back around I forced myself to avert my gaze and didn't look up until I felt the couch dip down underneath me. Heather was eyeing me quizzically and I watched as she placed the glass of wine in front of me. Without hesitation I reached out and grabbed it and took a long sip, if nothing else but to fill the void of doing nothing and feeling the silence engulf me. Her voice was the one to break the silence.

"You looked beautiful tonight, Nay." The sentence was almost breathed out and I felt the couch shift beneath me and my breath leave my body as I glanced up and noticed just how close she was to me.

"So did you." Well it was true, what was wrong with telling her that?

Feeling Heather's hand come up and brush a strand away from her face I let my eyes close and the butterflies invade my stomach. Skimming my eyes upwards I saw the look of intensity etched in her face and couldn't help my heart flutter when I saw her lick her lips. It was almost as if time had slowed right down and I could see everything in slow motion. Heather's head bent forward and I could see her eyes fixed on my lips which I moistened subconsciously. As soon as I felt her breath on my lips, I knew she felt mine, she stopped and raised her hooded eyes to catch mine. Closing my eyes I gulped and the words spilled from my lips.

"You're drunk… this shouldn't be happening."

"I'm not drunk, Nay… I haven't had a drink since we left the awards. Please…" That one word and my resolve broke. Surging forward I captured her lips in mine and immediately pushed my body further into hers as a moan broke through my lips.

Hearing her moan that was just as desperate made what was already a heated kiss even more frantic. Scrambling forward onto her lap I let my legs straddle her waist. My breath was ripped from my lungs when I felt her hands come around and cup my ass lifting me up so she was carrying me in one swift motion. Spinning us around, I felt my back being pressed into the wall and was vaguely aware of a framed picture falling behind my head. It was odd, because in that moment my mind went to the fact that we had just knocked one of the few pictures of her and her dad from the wall. Mumbling something into her mouth I pulled on of my legs down and detached my lips from hers before turning around and replacing the picture. I knew how much that photo meant to her… as I turned back around I saw her looking at me with an intensity I had never seen before. A single tear ran down her cheek and I felt my hand lift as if apart from me to brush it from her flushed face.

"Nay…" her hand came up to grip mine and I let myself be lead into the bedroom just ahead of us.

She let go of my hand and guided me backwards towards the bed with her hands on my waist. Scooting backwards to lean against the pillows I felt her drape her body over mine. Bringing my hands up I swept the curtain of hair that had fallen forward behind her ears. As she leaned forward to kiss me again something in me forced myself to stop her. Holding my hands over her cheeks I caught her eyes in mine once more. My breath fell short and I felt myself getting choked up… I don't want her to think of this as a mistake tomorrow. All the what if's in my mind were running on repeat. What if she regrets this? What if this is just because of the moment we shared? What if, when all is said and done, I am just a cure for her loneliness tonight? What if this isn't for her what it is for me? What if…? What if…? What if…? Seeing the confusion in her eyes I forced myself to speak.

"Please don't do this unless you mean it… Please." The look in Heather's eyes in that moment took my breath away. There was just so much love and so much fear that it was almost impossible for me to hold back my tears.

Her head dipped towards mine once more and I gave myself into the inevitable. This was happening and I wanted it more than anything and I knew in my heart that so did Heather. To be wanted the way I felt wanted in this very moment is hard to explain. It's almost like she had been waiting all evening and even longer to kiss me and I understood because, despite all my denial and me being with Matt, I knew this is where I belong and I need only chastise myself for not realizing it sooner.

Feeling her lips on mine I brought her bottom lip between my own and bit down gently before soothing it with my tongue. Taking the hint Heather opened her mouth and let her own tongue reach forward and slip against mine causing a moan to erupt from my chest. Arousal shot through every vein in my body and I felt her hands run up my sides. Opening my eyes I mustered all the strength I could and flipped us over so that my body was now draped over hers. I pulled away and gazed down at the beautiful face beneath that matched the same look of arousal I was sure was etched into my own. Running my fingers over her cheeks bones and down towards her swollen lips I let my face break out into a smile. My next breath took the form of words.

"I missed you… I missed this."

"I missed you too, Nay." There were no words left to say… only actions.

Running my fingers down over her collarbone I made my way to the bottom of her hoody and without hesitation brought it over her head. Sitting up to remove my own, she followed me up and kissed every expanse of exposed skin that followed my t-shirt over my head before she reached my lips once more and pulled me in, again, for a desperate kiss. My hands reach down to cup her warm breasts and the breath flew from her body and hit me full in the face as I palmed each one roughly before rolling the nipples in my fingers. The breath she breathed out, I breathed in and I felt almost drunk on everything that was Heather.

Guiding her slowly backwards to lie flat again, I let my leg come between hers and pushed forward slightly. I could feel my own wetness pooling in my underwear and it only increased when I heard the keening whine escape the perfect lips in front of me. I took my time and traced every single ripple and ridge on her body… reveling in the toned abs that flexed against my hands as I ran my fingertips down her stomach to the waistband of her shorts. Catching her wonderful blue eyes in mine I watched every speck of gold inside intensify as I pulled her shorts and underwear down in one swift motion.

Sitting back on my heels I took my time with the sight of her naked in front of me. Our desperation was matched and I watched her hips buck as my hands ran up her milky thighs. Sliding down the bed I let my lips trail over the inside of one thigh before skipping over where she wanted me most with a hot breath to kiss down the other. I nipped at the apex of her thighs before running my tongue over the goose pimpled flesh. Sucking the flesh there into my mouth I took my time in marking her so that she would remember me for days. Pulling away I smirked at the purple mark left by my tongue and teeth. Her heady scent was surrounding me and it was all I could do to keep teasing her, knowing that it would make everything so much more intense once I gave her the relief and gave into my own temptation. Long fingers came up to tangle in my hair and I moaned at the fingernails scratching at my scalp, urging me to where she needed me the most. A silent action telling me: 'no more teasing'.

I almost came from her taste alone as I finally gave into my deepest desire and dipped my head to run my tongue across the length of her hot center. Her head flew back and the fingers in my hair tightened as a guttural moan flew into the air. Bringing my mouth up to the bundle of nerves, I sucked her clit into my mouth and felt her hips buck into my face… flicking my tongue over and over I felt her breath become ragged and brought two of my fingers to circle her tight opening. Pushing through the wet heat I felt the muscles clench around my fingers in the most delicious way. I don't know how I ever stopped doing this… my fingers are the ones that should be giving her pleasure whenever she wants it.

Detaching my mouth and removing my fingers just before I knew she was about to cum I almost chuckled at the desperate whimper that fell from Heather's lips. Rolling over on to my back I tapped her thighs in a signal for her to turn over onto all fours. Sliding up so that my head was parallel to her breasts I watched as her lithe body twisted and came to straddle me. With a sense of urgency I have never witnessed before I watched as Heather scrambled up to place both knees beside my head knowing exactly where I wanted her. I liked being her and being able to watch the pleasure I gave her… the pleasure that ONLY I can give her.

Tugging on her thighs I lowered her back onto my waiting mouth and watched as her head flew back once more and her eyes roll back into her head. The hottest thing in the world is feeling her roll her hips onto my mouth. Reaching her entrance I push my tongue as far in as I can and feel the muscles clench and a flow of wetness run into my mouth. The desperate rocking above me quickened and I knew she was close. Bringing my hands up to her breasts I rolled them in my palms in time with my tongue thrusting into her.

"Fuck… Nay. I'm so close…"

I hummed in acknowledgment and felt her breath hitch as he vibrations hit her core. Removing my tongue I reclaimed the void once more by bringing 3 fingers up and plunging them inside without so much as a warning. The frantic rocks became trembles and I felt her body tense above me before shuddering her flood of release onto my fingers as my tongue traced lazy circles onto her clit to bring her down slowly.

Pants filled the room as she brought her hands up to the headboard to ride out the final moments of her orgasm with a deep, keening whimper. Her satiated body slid down mine slowly as her breath returned to normal. Coming back to face-to-face I saw the look of pure relief on her face. Reclaiming my lips in hers I felt her moan vibrate onto my lips as she tasted herself on me. Watching her regain her composure was amazing and the look in her eyes once she finally caught mine in hers just made me so much more aware of the throbbing arousal between my own legs that had yet to be tended to.

"That was so fucking good, Nay. But now it is definitely your turn."

"Mmmm… good."

I felt her fingers tickle down my collarbone as her lips followed the trail of puckered flesh they left. Her tongue came out to sweep across my nipple as she reached my breast and I felt my back arch into her mouth as my hands fisted the sheets next to me. Her fingers run down my stomach and I am all too aware of the teasing patterns that are being traced into my skin… each touch hotter than the last. She reaches the waistband of my sweats and she doesn't even to bother to take the time of removing them before her fingers are pushing downwards and running the length of my slick folds.

How had I forgotten how it felt to have her fingers in my most intimate place? She was so gentle and it was infuriating… there was nowhere near enough pressure to satisfy my burning desire and I knew that Heather was well aware of that fact. This was payback for my reckless teasing earlier and I couldn't help but push my head back into the mattress and give in to her tender touch. Soft slow circles paved the way into firmer tighter circles and before long I could feel the familiar clenching of my stomach that signaled I was so close to the edge. My tongue came out to moisten my dry lips and once again I was pulled into a desperate kiss. My head was reeling from the intensity of this kiss and I was almost unaware of my sweats being dragged down my thighs.

Before I could even acknowledge the absence of her fingers on me I felt Heather lower herself onto me. Our centers meet and the breath flies from my lungs threatening never to return. As Heather grinds herself down on to me I bring my hands up to the small of her back forcing her down even harder as our clits rub together deliciously. Brought from my reverie I hear Heather's gentle whispers telling me to open my eyes and when I do she holds my gaze with hers. It feels like every part of us is connected and I can almost feel sparks shooting out from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes as I am brought closer to my release. Heather's breath above me is becoming labored too so I know that she is feeling what I am feeling and somehow that brings us even closer. Sweat and breath mingling in the most passionate of embraces.

Our rhythm is knocked off when I bring my hips up to meet hers and she lets loose a shaky moan. The frantic rocking becomes even more desperate as we both chase to come at the same time. Her head dips to my chest and this time it is me encouraging her to meet my eyes so I can see the look in her beautiful face as she cums.

"Oh god… Heath I'm so fucking close. Keep going… please don't ever stop."

"M-me too… so close, baby."

Her eyes widen as she realizes what she says but ironically that is the final push it takes me to go hurtling over the edge. My hips come off the bed and obviously hit a special spot on Heather because she is soon coming over the precipice with me. Both our bodies tense as we let out a chorus of moans and whimpers. My orgasm courses through my veins and I can almost feel my brain short circuit as my eyes roll back into my head and it feels like we are riding the same wave because her hips are moving to the time of my spasms.

Finally, my muscles release and my back hits the bed with a thump as Heather falls simultaneously. Our chests rub together as we pant out the last of our pleasure. Tracing circles into her back I watch as she lifts her head to give me a lazy smile before claiming my lips in a gentle kiss.

That's is how we fall asleep… her on me, feeling our heartbeat as one with only a darkness and silence full of hope and promises to lull us to sleep.

**Hope you enjoyed it… All mistakes are mine because it is late here but I wanted to get this out for all you wonderful HeYa/Brittana fans that make this fandom what it is. Please let me know what you think because I may be tempted to make this more than a one shot! xoxox**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Nor do I own Heather and Naya but I do own my own Sim versions of them lol. **

**A/N: I got enough reviews asking me to continue so I gave another chapter a shot. May make this into a multi-chap depending on how people like it. This is a first fic I have been brave enough to post so please be gentle lol. Let me know what you think because feedback is really appreciated. Much love xoxox**

* * *

_From Heather: You left…_

_To Heather: Yeah… I had to get back for when Matt woke up. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, I didn't want to wake you._

_From Heather: You should have though… we do need to talk about what happened last night, Nay?_

_To Heather: I know… but can't we just say that what happened, happened and leave it at that?_

_From Heather: Fine…_

_To Heather: Come on Hemo don't be like that... It was a mistake we both know that._

_From Heather: Ok... talk to you later then _

_To Heather: Oh ok… you sound really upset though?_

_From Heather: Just please leave it, Naya._

_To Heather: I'm sorry…_

No reply… well, shit.

* * *

It's February 1st…. February 1st, which means that it's HeMo's birthday and we haven't spoken since that night. She's called me a couple of times and left voicemails asking me if we can talk but I haven't had the heart to reply and actually get into a conversation that will inevitably force me to look into the mess that are my thoughts right now.

Putting all things aside I know I need to do something for her today… anything to show her just how much I still care about her. She is still my best friend despite recent events or hidden feelings so it's only right that I make an effort. Pulling out my phone I quickly tap out Dianna's number and pray that she is not working right now.

"Hello?"

"Di? It's Naya."

"Hey! You ok? You sound a little out of breath?"

"Yeah, yeah fine. Just got out of spin."

"Ah okay. So to what do I owe this pleasure?" she chuckled out down the phone and I couldn't help but laugh breathlessly along with her. I must sound like I'm in a complete state.

"I need your help with something."

"Okay…?"

"What's the best ballet near us?"

"Probably the one down in San Diego. Um… why?"

"I want to surprise HeMo tonight for her birthday… do you think she'd wanna go?" Dianna had been one of the first people I had told about what happened/ I wasn't going around talking to anyone and everyone about it but Di was just one of those people who kept a level head in all situations so it seemed like the logical thing at the time.

"Maybe… not sure. I mean have you guys talked at all since the other day?"

"Not really… but it's her birthday… I can't just ignore it."

"That's true… but are you really going to drive all the way down to San Diego and back just for the ballet?"

"Oh… uh well maybe we'll just get a hotel to save the drive back…"

"Naya… I don-"

"Separate rooms Di!"

"Right… um well maybe talk to her first about going to San Diego with you and keep the ballet a secret and see what she says."

"Okay, yeah. Can you tell her to dress nice? I feel like if I do it she'll know something is up."

"Yup, sure no problem… I hope it works out Nay."

"Yeah me too… oh and thanks for your help Di."

"Anytime."

* * *

She agreed! She fucking agreed and now I am in full panic mode. We were leaving in no less than 2 hours and I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. Pacing around my kitchen I was envisioning how happy HeMo was going to be when she found out why we were going to San Diego. Marching into my bedroom I fling the closet doors open and start looking for something to wear… I had never been to a ballet before but I'm guessing it was a pretty fancy place. Pulling out a simple but elegant black dress I hear the front door slam. Is she early?

Walking from my bedroom I see Matt standing next to the kitchen counter texting someone on his phone. I saw him catch me standing there and watched as a smile lit up his face.

"Hey, baby."

"Hey." I let him give me quick kiss before pulling far enough away for him not to be able to touch me at all. He followed me back into the bedroom as I pulled my overnight bag from the closet.

"So how was yo…- wait where are you going?"

"San Diego for the evening."

"Oh… okay. How come?"

"Uh… Nickayla has a shoot and she wanted me to be there because we haven't seen each other in a while." Shit… why did I just lie?! I could have told him the truth… it's Heather's birthday so he would have understood."

"Oh… I thought we had plans tonight that's all."

Shit… we did have plans but I can't back down now… she said yes! And this time I need to think of her feelings ahead of my own. The look on his face is killing me right now so I do the only thing I can do and lean up to kiss him tenderly. I love him… I do but somehow having my lips pressed against his in this moment seems odd. I almost feel like he will be able to taste the lie on my lips and unwittingly pull back abruptly earning me a quizzical stare from him.

"I know… I'm sorry, Matt, but 'Kay asked me to be there for her tonight."

"Yeah… it's ok Hon. Go, I'll just see you later tonight, okay?"

"Actually I was thinking I was just gonna stay down there tonight in a hotel so I don't have to drive back up really late…"

"Oh… um, well then I guess I'll just see you tomorrow?"

"Sounds good." I say as I watch him as he gave me a slight smile and bent to gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"I love you." The rock that was already in my throat from having lied to him just turned into a metaphorical boulder at the sound of those words. Why can't I say it back?

"Me too…" Good enough.

* * *

Time seems to have come to a stand still… I am packed and ready to go and each time I glance at the clock it seems that it says the same thing it said when I checked over an hour ago. Each passing second I swear I convince myself a little more that she isn't coming and she isn't even due for another quarter of an hour. Just as I bury my head in my hands I hear a sharp rap on the door. Taking a deep breath I steady myself as I head over and pull it open cautiously. She must have spoken to Dianna because she was standing on my doorstep dressed in a gorgeous turquoise of the shoulder dress. She looks breathtaking and I don't even bother to sort out my confused emotions as I take her all in. I must look gob smacked because her hand comes up to subconsciously brush the hem of her dress.

"Uh – He – Hey Heath."

"Hey Naya. You ready to go? Are we meeting Di there or is she coming with us?"

"Yeah ready to go… wait what?! Dianna isn't coming with us tonight…"

"Oh… I assumed when she told me to dress nice it was because she was coming with us…"

"No Heath… this is my birthday present to you, she isn't coming."

"Oh… so it's just us..." I notice the slightly crestfallen look on her face and, instantly, my heart sinks. She obviously doesn't want to be going with just me and I can feel the lump in throat almost triple in size.

"Yeah… is that ok?"

"Yeah… um, that's fine." Here comes the awkwardness again and I can't help but reach out to her. She flinches at my touch around her waist and I want to cry. Pushing through with my original plan I pull her into a tight hug and inhale her sweet scent. She instantly relaxes in my arms and takes a deep breath right along with me and I feel myself begin to loosen up as well. I let my eyes flutter close and almost whimper in disappointment when I feel her begin to pull away. I clutch on a little tighter for a few more seconds and whisper into her soft golden locks.

"Happy Birthday." She pulls away from me and I breathe a sigh of relief when I catch her eyes and notice the twinkle return. She flashes me one of her award winning smiles as I pick up the bag at my feet and head out to my car with HeMo following right behind me.

As soon as I enter the car I breathe a sigh of relief as I watch HeMo make her way around to the passenger side. Awkwardness is never a fun thing to deal with but it is especially hard when it is with someone you used to be so comfortable with. Luckily we managed to move past that point pretty swiftly and the silence in the car was rather comfortable as we began our slow drive to San Diego.

Heather has always had this completely adorable way of sitting in a car and I can't help but smile as I watch her scoot around in her seat to get comfortable. She scooches low down in the seat and then brings her feet up to the dashboard so that her knees are against her chest and I can see her fingers tapping along to the beat of the radio on her thighs.

As we reach the freeway I can feel her gaze on me and I cant help but shift awkwardly under the intense scrutiny. I chance a quick look in her direction and see her looking at me with a slightly sad look in her eyes. I can't help myself… I reach over and grab her hand to give it a gentle squeez and am instantly surprised when I feel HeMo entwine her fingers with mine.

"What's up, Heath? You look kind of down…" No answer…

"HeMo?"

"Why d'you come over that night, Naya?"

"I – I don't know to be honest… I guess I just wanted to see you."

"So why did you leave…?" There was a slight break in her voice and my heart ached at the sound of it.

"Because – um because… well Matt was here so I had to get back before he woke up and realized I was gone…"

"I know he was there but you left without even saying goodbye… do you know how hard it is to wake up expecting someone to be there only to realize they have crept out of your house… it felt like you were ashamed about what happened."

"No… I'm not ashamed of it…"

"So then what are you? Because right now I just feel like some sort of dirty little secret."

"I guess I just don't know why it happened? I mean after so long… And we HAVE to keep it a secret, Heath. I don't want to hurt Matt."

"And what about me? What about if you're hurting me?" That was it, I could hear Heather's resolve break and there were tiny sniffles permeating the air in the car. It took everything in my power not to pull over and pull her into a tight embrace… but that would just make things even more complicated.

"I never mean to hurt you Heather… you know that."

"That doesn't mean you didn't, Nay."

"I'm sorry…"

"I know." That was it… no 'it's ok' or 'I forgive you' just that she knew I was sorry… which is something I guess. I didn't really have anything else to say but it was breaking my heart a little more each time I heard a little sniff or a little whimper but I couldn't say anything more than I was sorry because even I didn't know what else I was feeling.

"I really am…"

"I know that Nay… let's just forget it okay? I want to have fun tonight."

"We can talk about it more if you want to, Heather?" I chanced a glance in her direction and watched as her free hand rose to her cheek to wipe away the tears.

"No it's ok…. By the way… what's in San Diego?" I couldn't help but smile at the change in her tone from sadness to childish giddiness.

"Well you'll just have to wait and see won't you!"

"No fair, Nay!"

"What!? There's a reason it is called a birthday surprise…"

"Ugh… fine." She had that adorable little pout on her face and it was almost irresistibly adorable and for a second I honestly thought I was going to lean over and kiss it off her face.

The rest of the drive was full of small talk and laughter as we belted out our favorite songs on the radio when they came on and talked about anything and everything of relevance. It took a lot less time than the Google Maps I had printed out and before long we were pulling up in front of the Hyatt. I could tell by the look of surprise on Heather's face that Dianna and I both had forgotten to mention that the trip was going to be an overnight one and I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. As we exited the car we were greeted by the General Manager and given our separate room keys and I saw the almost imperceptible sigh of relief leave her lips. Was I mistaken or was there also a hint of disappointment in there? Making our way through the lobby I was glad to see that it was relatively empty and we hadn't been stopped to sign anything before the elevator.

"So… you wanna go freshen up and I'll meet you in the lobby at like 6:30?"

"Sure. Sounds good, Nay."

* * *

6:30 could not come soon enough and I found myself pacing around my room waiting for an acceptable time to head downstairs. By quarter to 6 I was out the door and headed down to the lobby under the notion that maybe a drink would help steady my nerves. I wasn't even sure why I was feeling this way… this wasn't a date…. This was one friend taking out another for their birthday. But somehow, given recent events, it seemed a whole lot more. Sitting at the bar nursing my vodka tonic I let my mind wander back to the events of the SAG night and lingering on each detail of Heather I could remember. I must have been sitting there a while because HeMo clearing her throat next to me soon brought me out of my thoughts. Glancing at my watch I saw that I had been sitting there for almost 45 minutes and had barely touched my drink. I felt a hit flush creep over my skin and turned to face her. If anything she looked even more beautiful than she had earlier… her hair had been pulled back off her face and there were just tiny wisps of hair framing her perfect cheekbones.

"You ok Nay? You look a little flushed?" My breath hitched as I felt her run the back of her index finger down my hot cheek and instinctually raised my hand to cover hers. A slight look of bemusement settled over her features and I jerked my hand away quickly, fearing the moment had become too intimate.

"Yeah I'm fine… just a little warm. Are you ready to g-" My shrill ringtone cut me off and I glanced at my phone to see Matt's name flashing on the screen. There was no hesitation as I pressed ignore and I swallowed the feeling of guilt that was rising like bile in my throat.

As we neared the venue in the car I had arranged for the evening I heard Heather's breath hitch next to me and I couldn't help but give her a confused look only to find her gazing out of the window and the rapidly approaching theatre.

"Oh Nay…" she breathed as she turned to look at me and I swear I could feel every fiber of her breath and awe hit me full in the face. My cheeks reddened once more and I couldn't help myself from dipping my head to examine my nails from embarrassment.

"I can't believe you're taking me to the ballet Naya…"

"Yeah well… I just wanted to do something special and surprise you."

"Yeh well you did good… You really shouldn't have though…"

"I wanted to…" Heather's eyes lit up and the smile on her face was threatening never to fade. Before I knew what was happening HeMo had grabbed my hand and almost yanked me out of the car. Her enthusiasm was infectious and pretty soon I found myself running up the steps next to her.

As the lights dimmed in the theatre I notice Heather do a little happy dance in her seat and I can't help the chuckle leave my mouth that is instantly drowned out by the sound of the orchestra starting up.

I miss the ENTIRE performance… and when I say that I mean it literally. My eyes refused to stray from Heather's face as I watched the light dance in her eyes as they followed the dancers on stage. Halfway through the performance I feel Heather's hand move over and grip mine… with each crescendo in the music it squeezed a little tighter and my heart fluttered a little harder… I was overwhelmed with affection each time I saw her eyes moisten from the sheer beauty of the performance. It really is a testament to how she sees the world because only someone with that much passion and love in their bodies can look at a performance piece like this and see everything that's good in it and look past all it's flaws. Come to think of it, that's exactly how she sees the whole world. Almost overcome with my thoughts I tear my eyes away from her profile just as the dying bars of the finale fade out and there is suddenly this raucous applause. I didn't see a single minute of it but I was still standing and clapping just as loudly as everyone else because my own private performance was just as perfect.

Heather was one of the last ones left standing and clapping and pretty soon we were being forcefully guided towards the exit. She was babbling in my ear as she recounted in great detail her favorite moments. I couldn't help but to just nod along with a small smile playing on my lips as I listened to her giddy story telling. Climbing into the back of the car once more I glanced at my phone and saw another 5 missed calls from Matt. I would just have to deal with that later.

"Nay?"

"Hmm? What?"

"I asked you like 5 times if you enjoyed it too?"

"Of course I did… it was beautiful."

"It really was, huh? So where to now?"

"Food!"

"You read my mind Nay."

* * *

I had taken heather to this adorable little Italian bistro that Nickayla had told me about and we were now walking back up the corridor to our rooms with arms full of our heels and the doggy bags we had taken from the restaurant. Heather had not stopped talking about he performance the entire evening and I couldn't even bring myself to care because she just looked so animated and enamored by it which was a sight in and of itself. We reached HeMo's door and the slight chuckles and tidbits of conversation died out abruptly as she turned to face me.

"Tonight was incredible Naya… thank you."

"It was my pleasure… seriously. I'm glad I could give you something special for your birthday."

"Well it was amazing… So I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah… Happy birthday again… night HeMo." My breath caught in my chest as her eyes wrinkled up in the corners in a sweet smile and she leant forward to press a soft kiss to my cheek.

"Night Nay…" I waited outside her door until it had shut completely before letting out my breath and turning to head towards my own room. My head felt like a heavy fog had settled in over night and my muddled feelings came rushing back to me. It was odd that when I was with Heather my mind just seemed to clear and everything became easy again…

Locking the door behind me I didn't even bother to search out my pajamas in the bag as I stripped the dress from my body and crawled under the crisp white sheets. My head was spinning again and I found myself unsurprised that the majority of my thoughts were focused on one person and one person alone… Heather. Lying in the darkness I could hear the faint hum of cars on the busy street below and caught the slight tapping that sounded like it was coming from my room. Thinking I had imagined it I let my mind drift off again only to hear a slightly louder tap. Hesitating slightly I swung my legs out of bed and moved towards the door where I heard a tap again. Pulling the white towel robe around my body I opened the door a crack and peeked through to see Heather standing there before me still dressed in the outfit she wore out.

"Is everything ok Heath?" I can hear the confusion seep into my own voice as her she nods her head slightly.

"I just – I didn't know it was an overnight thing so I didn't pack anything so I was wondering if you had a spare t-shirt I could borrow to sleep in?"

"Yeah sure… come on in. I think I have a spare shirt that I was going to wear tomorrow but I'm not wearing pajamas tonight so I can just wear that tomorrow." I make my way over to the suitcase and am acutely aware of Heather's proximity as she follows me. I start rifling through my overnight bag when all of a sudden I feel strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. I let out a little squeak of surprise as she buries her head into the downy fabric on my neck… subconsciously I take the same deep breath she does and I can feel the hairs begin to stand up on the back of my neck.

"Wha- what are you doing?"

"I just… needed a hug. That's all."

"Oh… okay." Feeling a slight tug on my waist I feel my body start to rotate and pretty soon I have my arms wrapped around her neck as I breathe in her scent as she breathes in mine. This isn't a friend hug and I can feel my body starting to react to her touch almost instantly… this shouldn't be happening again. That much I know but in that moment, not a single rational reason telling me this is not where I belong entered my head.

Pulling back slightly I can feel her hands wind in to the robe and hold on to me as if I may float away at any moment. I let my thumb caress the baby hairs on the nape of her neck and close my eyes in a shiver as I feel the goose bumps begin to rise. Before I can even open my eyes and look at her I feel her lips graze mine ever so gently… that's when the dam breaks and I know there is no way in any universe I will be able to stop what is about to happen and, for once, I am completely ok with not being in control. There is no tentativeness left as I push forward and fully capture her lips in mine. A moan echoes through the room and I am not even sure who it came from and I don't care because all I can focus on now is the soft push of HeMo's tongue against my bottom lip followed by the sharp nip that sent tingles right down to the tips of my toes. I can feel her hands massaging my hips through the plush white towel robe and in one swift motion I have untied it and it is in a pool around my feet. Looking into her eyes for the first time since we began kissing I can see the glint of arousal and the soft smirk is playing on her lips… I don't even care if I am coming of as desperate now, all I know if that in this moment I have never felt more at home than I do in her arms. Smiling down at me she swiftly pulls the dress over her head and the breath catches in my throat as I see the soft bedside light bounce over the curves and ripples on her body. She's breathtaking in the most perfect way and I almost lose the moment through my admiration of her body.

Nimble fingers return to my sides and my skin is electrified at the first touch of bare flesh on bare flesh. There is no time for slow now as I can see that she wants me just as much as I want her.

Bodies crashing together I can feel my feet begin to move backwards and my knees bend as they hit the edge of the mattress… her abs are twitching against mine and I allow my fingers to brush over the freckles that lay just to the side of her navel. Sitting down on the edge of the bed I allow my silent worship of her body to continue as my face arrives at where my hands just where and I place tiny kisses to each freckle. The skin jumps beneath my lips and I can hear the hitched breath come from Heather above me. Soft hands come to my cheeks and lift my head to catch her eyes once more as she bends down and pushes me backwards in one fell swoop. I feel her lithe tone body drape over mine and suddenly her mouth is everywhere giving me little time to catch any semblance of a breath. Soft nips to my collarbone coupled with her deft finger tracing the line of my underwear makes my toes curl in pleasure and my hands fall to my sides to clutch at the bed sheet.

Somewhere in my haze of pleasure I realize our bras have been discarded of and I can feel her hard nipples rubbing deliciously against mine. Refusing to lie idle and let her soft caresses carry me under, I bring my palms up to each breast and feel her nipples poke the center of my palm before I dip my head down and pull one into my mouth as the other is rolled between my fingers. She throws her head back and grinds down on to me causing me to release the nub from my mouth as her hips connect with where I need it the most. Using all the strength I have left I flip us so that she is now on her back with her legs squeezing at my sides. I take a second to catch my breath and look down at the astonishing sight below me… blonde hair is fanned out like a halo around her head and the dim light is flickering in her blown out pupils as her chest heaves beneath mine.

Pulling her towards me I lift her back off the bed and bring my knees forward so she is sitting on them. I am now at perfect eyelevel with her chest and proceed to take the nipple back into my mouth. This time Heather arching her back causes her center to come into contact with my lower stomach and the slow keening whine that is released from her lips passes through each one of my bones igniting even more passion for her. Pulling her against me again and again I can feel the wetness on her underwear begin to slide over my abs and pretty soon the whines escaping her mouth become more ragged. My hair is now balled up in her fists as I coax her closer and closer to the edge. One more flick of my tongue to her nipple and a pull forward I feel her entire body tense beneath my hands and a long shuddering breath brushes the top of my head as she finally lets go of the precipice she had been clinging on to.

Heather's forehead comes to rest in the crook of my neck and I can feel our breathing start to sync up as she comes down from her high. This isn't a time for words as she pulls back and looks at me with hooded eyes. Her fingers come down to her down underwear as she falls back on to the bed and pulls them over her legs and within seconds she is pressed back up against me. Warm fingers toy with the waistband of my own and they are slowly dragged down my thighs sticking to my skin with the unbelievable wetness that made me so painfully aware of just how turned on I still was. No sooner had my underwear hit the floor when I was pushed onto my back with my head hanging over the edge of the bed. I could feel HeMo's breath tickle over my belly button and my hips bucked as I understood what was about to happen. Her tongue moved slowly through the grooves of my abs and finally her hot breath washed over my throbbing clit. She wasted no time and immediately wrapped my clit between her lips, suckling gently. I didn't know what was real and fantasy at this point… blood had rushed to my head and my own fingers in my hair felt like comforting flames that spread throughout my entire body. A long finger pushed into me and my back arched as it all became too stimulating. Bringing my hands down to grip onto blonde locks I felt Heather's hand grab mine and it felt like I had just been anchored to earth. Struggling to find my voice in the wave of emotion and arousal I clenched around her finger.

"Shit… you f – feel so goo- Ugh I'm cumm –"

I was feeling everything and with one single curl of her finger I was unraveling in a way I wasn't sure I ever had before. Vaguely aware of my voice screaming her name into the room I was brought down to earth with slow and languid flicks of her tongue. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as HeMo crawled up my body and pressed her lips to mine. Straining to keep my head up with no support she sensed this and pulled us up so we were face to face on our knees. I could see the flush of arousal on her cheeks and the shine of me on her chin and lips. Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I move forward and run my tongue over her bottom lip tasting myself. Moaning in unison I dip to run my tongue along her jugular and bite down on her earlobe hard. Trying to find something to hold onto I feel Heather's nails dig into my right butt cheek and I hiss into her mouth as another flood of arousal flows through me.

I run my hands down her body again and feel her sweat on my fingertips as I trace patterns into her still twitching stomach. As soon as my hand reaches her dripping folds her breath takes the shape of my name and surrounds me in her sounds of pleasure. My head flies back once again as I feel her fingers on my aching clit once more… there is no greater pleasure than being body to body, breath to breath, lip to lip and feeling the same sensations. Developing a steady rhythm I allow my fingers to dip lower and in one long exhale push into her earning me a guttural moan of my name. Just hearing her say it all drawn out like that was enough to push me closer to the edge. It was one of the most amazing feelings to know that I was responsible for this amount of her pleasure. Mimicking my movements I feel two fingers enter me.

"To – together Nay."

"O – Okay."

"Together…"

"Mmm… I know"

"N – shit – NOW Nay…"

My fingers were furiously pumping into her and I could feel her muscles contract in time with mine. I as hurtling towards my edge and I was determined to take her with me. One last push forward I butterfly my fingers and suddenly feel her walls clench one last time as I, too, am catapulted into my own orgasm. White spots flash behind my eyelids and I don't even notice Heather's fingernails scraping over my shoulder blade. Each new wave of pleasure is more intense than the last and I find myself unable to catch a breath until after the last little tremble and all my muscles turn to jello.

I fall forward onto Heather and our bodies slide together from the heat and the passion. I can hear the steady thump of her heart beat against my ear from where my head is placed on her chest. A lazy arm stretches past me to shut off the light and the cover is pulled over our shivering bodies.

The darkness falls upon us and it has a heartbeat… her heartbeat.

**Hope you enjoyed it… All mistakes are mine because it is late here but I wanted to get this out for all you wonderful HeYa/Brittana fans that make this fandom what it is. PLEASE let me know what you think (: xoxox**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This one is actually quite and angsty chapter but I am trying to develop the story now so it can turn into a proper multi-chap. It was originally supposed to be One-Shot but I guess you guys like it… Yay :)**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Glee or sadly Naya and HeMo**

San Diego had been amazing and I honestly couldn't remember a time that I had spent such a perfect evening. We had fallen asleep with every part of our bodies entwined and I slept so soundly I couldn't for the life of me tell anyone what I dreamed about that night. Funny thing though… I had never truly understood the meaning of the phrase "in the cold light of day" until the morning after when I realized I had just made things so much more complicated than I ever imagined. I am now completely and utterly stuck in a catch 22 and there is no way of getting out of this without hurting someone I care about.

I dropped HeMo off at her house not 2 hours ago and the soft kiss she left on the corner of my mouth was still tingling. Each breath I take I can still feel her all over me and even after 2 showers I am still convinced I can smell her on me and I will end up getting caught out with Matt. The steady stream of words running through my brain now is succeeding in making me more nervous than I should and the jingle of his keys in my front door almost makes me choke on the coffee I am cautiously sipping. Deep breaths… I can do this!

"Hey Baby! How was San Diego?" he looks so happy to see me and that is doing absolutely nothing to quell my fears.

"Hey… It was good. HeMo had a lot of fun and loved the ballet."

" Hemo…? I thought you went to down to see Nickayla?" … SHIT.

"Oh… uh – yeah… I saw Nickayla and then HeMo was in San Diego so I took her to the ballet for her birthday."

"Oh… okay." He didn't look convinced at all.

"Yeah… How was your night then?" I am not even able to stop stalling and I know the more I procrastinate the harder it's going to be in the end.

It was good! Me and the boys headed to lucky strike for a chill night and Josh got sooooo dru-…"

"Actually I need to tell you something…"

"Okay…?"

"I didn't go out to San Diego to see Nickayla yesterday… I went because I was taking Heather to the ballet and only that…"

"Why did you lie about it? You know I wouldn't have cared… I love Heather."

"I'm not really sure why I lied about it... it just kind of slipped out and then I didn't bother changing it."

"Okay… is that what you wanted to tell me?"

No, I also left you sleeping in my bed after the SAG awards and had sex with her but somehow the words wouldn't even come close to leaving my mouth.

"Yeah… that's all." God, I am pathetic.

"Ok good." I could hear the smile in his voice once more and something that sounded a lot like relief. I raised my eyes towards him and saw him coming around the kitchen island. His lips were on mine before I could even move out of the way and his hands on my hips were making my skin crawl. I love him… I truly do but all I could think about were how careless his lips and caresses were and how I longed for Heather's hands on me and not his.

I felt his hands run up my sides and his tongue run over my bottom lip as he pressed himself further into me and I fought the urge to just push him off. His hands were too heavy, his kisses too rough, his moans too deep… none of this was right but it was supposed to be because I was with him and not Heather… he was the one I was supposed to miss and I shouldn't be here desperately picturing the graceful features of my best friend to get through this.

I let myself be lead to the bedroom and I could feel his sloppy touch all over me, each step of the way hating myself for what I was doing. Here was a man who genuinely loved me and I thought I loved him… no I know I do but there is a different between loving someone and being in love with someone. No matter what happened next someone I care deeply for is going to get hurt.

With my mind racing a mile a minute I almost didn't register Matt stiffening above me and then collapsing breathing hard into my ear. Swallowing my guilt I bring my hands up to rest on his back and just hold him. I would rather be anywhere else than here right now and that part was killing me.

* * *

After Matt had left I was overcome with just the silence of it all and knew I needed to be away from anything that was going to remind me of him or her. I grabbed Lucy and jumped in the car and didn't stop until I had pulled into my parent's driveway. There was something so comforting about having a place you could go to and not have anything else in the outside world matter. Back at the start of Glee I would come here when things just became too much and some of the attention was becoming hard to handle. My family are always great at keeping me grounded and my mother is one of those know-it-all types that has an answer for everything, which, although annoying at times, turned out helping me a lot more than I care to admit.

As soon as my car pulls in the driveway I can see my mother in the kitchen window and see her face light up in a mega-watt smile. Yup, it was definitely nice to be home. Almost as soon as I stepped out of the car the front door was flung open and a squeal of immeasurable decibels reaches my ears.

"NAYYYAAAA! What are you doing here? And Lucy! Who's my precious girl?!" My mother brushed passed me to yank open the back door and scoop an excited Lucy into her arms.

"Nice to see you too, Mom." I couldn't help but laugh at Lucy scrambling to lick every inch of my mother's face.

"Oh hush, Mija. You know I am always glad to see you but there is no way anyone can resist this little face." Lucy look pretty damn pleased with herself and I couldn't help but lean over and give her a little kiss on her head. I felt my mother's hands reach around my waist as she all but dragged be towards the front door.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you. What are you doing here?"

"I just needed a little break from everything." I couldn't help the sigh that left my lips and watched as the unmistakable look of concern grows on my mother's face.

"Is everything ok, Naya?"

"It will be I think… I just needed to get some head space and maybe some good old fashion 'mother knows best' advice?"

"Well you've come to the right place because I am an EXPERT at that!" She chuckled as she entered the house and I followed her in.

Everything about this place screams comfort to me. The family pictures on the wall along with more recent ones of us three being successful in each of the things we pursued. On the fridge right now was a couple of pictures from 'Kay's new magazine spread as well as a few screen shots of glee and a picture of Michael on the field at last weeks game. It always makes me smile to see how proud my parents are of each and every one of us and given half the chance my Mother would talk your ear off about us. There were the faint smells of my mother's perfume that always calmed me along with the smell of whatever my mom was cooking today which happened to be cocina criolla (my favourite) Yeah… this is exactly where I need to be for a couple of days.

Lucy scampered off into the backyard and I sat down and the kitchen table with a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade as I watched my mother bustle around the kitchen and seemingly sprouting another set of arms to keep in time with her multi-tasking. Within 5 seconds she was sitting in front of me with the look of concern still marring her lovely features.

"You wanna tell me what's going on, mija?"

Deep breath Naya you can do this.

"I think I'm about to hurt someone I really care about and I don't think I can avoid doing it."

"Ok I'm going to need a little bit more than that if I'm going to be able to help you honey."

"Well… I'm with Matt but recently I have been having feelings for someone else… someone from my past that I thought was going to stay firmly in the past."

"Right, ok. Have you acted on these feelings?"

"Yes… twice."

"Oh Naya…"

"Ma, I don't need a lesson right now. I already know what I did was wrong. I just need to know what to do."

"I can't tell you that honey. You have to decide for yourself. Tell me a little bit more about what happened."

"Well I've been with Matt for a while now but this person is still a constant part of my life. One thing lead to another one night and we ended up together… only I think now that all the feelings I had for her at the time never really went away. Like when I am with them it feels nothing like it does with Matt… it kind of just feels right." I took a deep breath and started slowly chugging some lemonade as I watched my mom mull it over.

"Are we talking about Heather?" within 2 seconds lemonade was pouring out of my nose and I was spluttering trying to get my breath back. With my eyes watering I look up and see my mother with a completely indifferent look on her face.

"Wh – what?"

"Are we talking about Heather?" she repeated

"How did you know that?" Like seriously, HOW? I had never said anything to anyone in my family while we were together… mostly because they were actually quite religious. The only people who knew for sure were Dianna (because she had caught us sneaking a kiss at one of the glee parties) and Kevin (because, besides Heather, he was my best friend).

"Well you said 'her' just now… and honestly I'm not blind Mija. You guys have always been really close… closer than most best friends I know so it's not a giant leap from friends to lovers."

"Oh… and you're ok with that?" She seemed to think about her answer before replying… I think she knew I was referring to the fact that she had been brought up in a strictly religious family.

"You play a gay character on Glee Naya… if I wasn't ok with that kind of stuff I would have said something a long time ago."

"Okay…"

"Look God teaches us to love. He doesn't hate anyone… that's kind of his thing. We are taught that we are created in the image of God and that's how I see it. Who am I to judge another person based on what they do or whom they love? There more love in this world the better in my opinion."

"Ma… I didn't say anything about love…"

"You didn't have to mija…" I swear my mom should have like an advice column or something because she makes everything that felt so scary not 10 minutes ago seem a lot easier to deal with.

"So what do I do?"

"I'm not sure I can tell you that Mija… just know that I have seen you with both of them and it's clear to me which one you are going to chose. I'm pretty sure if you think about it you have known all along that there wasn't really ever a 'choice'…"

"I love you, mom. Seriously… you always know just what to say."

"Well having raised 3 drama queens it comes naturally now." She plants a kiss on the top of my head and moves off to finish lunch as I laugh.

* * *

I spent a glorious weekend at my parents just eating and sleeping and doing things with my family that I wish I had more time for nowadays. Michael had come back to surprise the parents too so the house was full for the first time in like 4 years. A fact that made my mother very happy and you could see it on her face. The whole family came over on Sunday and as they were piling out of the door I couldn't help my heart sink as I realized I needed to head back tonight so I could be on set tomorrow morning.

I always seem to leave my parents house with more than I cam with and none more so than this particular time where I was leaving with 5 full oven-proof dishes full of food (at least I wouldn't have to cook for the next couple of days or weeks judging by the size of those dishes). I was getting fussed over by my mom making sure I had everything and almost having to pry her off Lucy who was lying now exhausted in the back seat. The meaningful look she gives me as I am pulling out of the drive is enough to calm my senses just long enough for me to drive home. Panic flies back up to my chest when I see Matt's shoes lined up neatly by the door and his keys on the kitchen island. I can see him on the couch in the living room with his feet up and I know he is asleep. Before I can catch the door, it slams shut behind me and he bolts upright on the couch looks at me with unfocussed eyes.

"Naya?"

"Yeah… it's me."

"Where the hell have you been!? I've been calling you since yesterday."

"Sorry I went to my parents for the weekend… I thought you were supposed to be working?"

"I was but when I didn't hear from you I got worried and when you didn't come home yesterday I called everyone and no one knew… you can't do that again Naya I was so fucking scared." Guilt was like a fire in my chest right now… not because of I didn't call but because of just how much he genuinely cared about me.

"I'm sorry but I am my own person Matt and I just wanted to get away for a while. I'm sorry I didn't call… next time I'll leave a note or something."

"Get away for a while? What's going on Naya? You've been acting weird for a while now… Is everything ok?"

"Yes of course." NO IT'S NOT… why can't I just say that to him!?

"So I don't need to be worried about 'us'?" I couldn't bring myself to lie again and just shook my head and then I let him kiss me. It still felt wrong.

"I have to be at work early tomorrow so maybe I'll just stay at my place, okay?"

"Yeah that's fine."

"I love you…"

"Yeah… me too." I didn't miss his frown as he walked out the door.

* * *

As I stepped out of my car in the studio lot the next day I was glad to see that Dianna was shooting scenes today as well so I would have someone to talk to. I headed across to her trailer and knocked in to see her almost already in full hair and makeup.

"Well look who it is? Since when did you decide not to answer my phone calls?"

"Sorry Di… I was at my parents all weekend."

"And you can't take my phone calls there?" I could hear the jokey tone in her voice and tried to offer a weary smile in return.

"I needed some space so I turned it off." The smile dropped from Dianna's face as she realized that I wasn't really myself.

"Is everything ok?"

"It will be… once I figure out how to fix what I messed up in the first place." Tears threatened to spill as I brought my hands up to rub my eyes.

"Oh Nay…"

"It's fine. I'm fine really… I'll talk to you later okay?"

"O – okay…"

The sun was beaming down on the lot today and it was nice to just smell the fresh air. I made my way into my own trailer counting my heartbeats as I went so as not to concentrate on the fact that I may run into Heather at any minute. Shit… There she is.

Heather is marching across the parking lot towards me just before I reach my trailer and I do my best to race inside. I didn't want to the whole lot to be privy to our conversation and I wasn't due in hair and makeup for at least another 2 hours. The door is wrenched open behind me and I can feel her breath on the back of my neck before she stalks past me to stand facing me with her arms folded across her chest.

"Where the HELL have you been?"

"I went away for a bit…"

"You didn't think to call?! Or to let ANYONE know where you were?"

"I'm sorry I just needed some space."

"Space for what?"

"To deal with family issues…"

"Family issues?"

"My issues… I needed to clear my head."

"Okay, well are you clear? Do you know what you want?"

"I still need some space and time to figure it all out… You and I need space to figure out what we want"

"Oh so what you want is to not be here at all…?"

"Will you please let me finish?"

"I'm sorry… I've just gotten used to filling the blanks myself. I mean the last time this happened between us you disappeared and refused to talk to me. You do all this stuff for me on my birthday and we spend one of the most amazing nights I have ever shared with someone else and then you just fall of the face of the earth? I spent days thinking about you Naya!"

"I thought about you every second I was gone… but I also thought about the consequences… The questions from our friends and our fans and your parents…"

"My parents?"

"Yeah… we can't keep sneaking around like this because one of us is going to get hurt."

"It's too late for that isn't it."

"Heath, we just can't go back to the way we were… things need to change. "

"No they don't need to… they already have."

Before I could fully understand what was happening Heather's lips were on mine and I was being pushed against the counter in the trailer. Urgent hands ran up my body and threaded themselves into my hair. My hands came up to twist into her t-shirt as I felt her moan into my mouth.

I feel a sharp tug on my hair as she pulls me back to look at her. Her blue eyes are dark with arousal and her cheeks are flushed. She leans down and places a small kiss on my neck and runs her tongue up to my ear.

"Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop. Tell me you don't feel what I feel or want me the way I want you and I'll give you all the space you need."

"I – I can't…"

**A/N: Phew… chapter 3 is done. Please let me know what you think. I know this was a little more angsty than usual but a lot of people have been asking for multi-chap so I needed to set it up somehow. REVIEW REVIEW please and thanks ;) **


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